I am certainly an on-again-off-again acquaintance with depression and anxiety. This time, though, is the first I can tag it directly to dismay and fear for our futures. What had usually been anger and rational thought turned on itself last week and came out as, well, sadness. Hopelessness. From the intellectual, to the gut. From “humanity will negotiate the Great Turning”, to “We are so screwed.” (Luckily, Denial didn’t show its face.)
This perfect storm began as my wife was out of town for a few days and I had, therefore, more time to think and mull alone. I do a good deal of daily blog reading and keeping an open and watchful mind. But this “hopeless factor” slid right in my front door, sat down, and began a staring contest.
Obviously, this was the result of a cumulative effect, and on another day I might take things with more finesse. What, exactly, flipped my switch? Here's how I recall my gut reacting:
Set-up #1: Watching TV. Within a very short time I had surfed past a National Hotdog Eating Contest program where folks were trying to control their gag reflexes; to another report from droughted Somalia highlighting thousands of migrant children, dehydrated and starving. This may be the beginning of the 21st Century Water Wars, for crissake! Children! Hotdogs?? How insensitive and selfish can we get in the Western World??
#2: I hesitantly peeked in on the starting week of my beloved Tour de France, still disillusioned by the doping. I found more TV commercial time than actual racing time (no surprise). But many of the commercials were for - automobiles!! Now, I understand (regrettably) the cultural target market for this program, but the paradox is bazaar: A seemingly benign and clean/green sport of man and simple machine, tainted by drugs, bankrolled by Cadillac (the new king of acceleration and power and fuel consumption). This isn't about bicycles after all!! What the...??
#3: Exxon Mobile’s pipeline UNDER(!) the Yellowstone began leaking crude. Here we go again with arrogant petroleum puppet sound bytes! (That would be a Mr. Pruessing.) Do they think I’m stupid? Do these people have passports from Mars? Is there no recognition from them that they poison a landscape and its inhabitants, and that they are Past Peak Oil On Earth and staring at liquid carbon collapse?? (Correction: They are fully aware - that’s why a $ is a $ right now…) How did this moralless industry coronate themselves king of culture??
#4: Two branches of the US government were arguing whether to extend the debt ceiling to “save” our economy. Save?? The ceiling is irrelevant! There is not enough money on Earth, literally, to repay these debts. (Are these the Mars passport guys?) Who are they kidding? Our economy cannot grow further - get over it and start preparing for austerity procedures and resiliency for simpler and more reasonable lifestyles in this country!! Everyone participates; the rich twice over! Default now for a bad result, or ten years from now for catastrophic collapse. Get off the pot!!
#5: On all stations: The top-billed national media-generated courtroom Casey frenzy of the year became a viral infection of OJ Simpson Syndrome. Shame on all the networks who entered the whirlpool of predatory human tabloidness at the expense of public issues that will drop us to our knees in the near future!
I pulled the plug on the TV. Literally.
The hopelessness factor had found my gut. Do we all pass through that door?
“But, I’m informed! But, I do my part!”
“Too bad - the ship is sinking.”
"Damn- there's Debbie Downer again."
[Throw hands in air and turns away.]
I'm better now. I know the full range of human emotional reactions are going to hit home. Bitter realities and pleasant surprises. We are going to need to simplify. We are going to learn the concept of finiteness and take it seriously. There will be a new normal to economies after natural consequences of greed and standard of living are modified.
Fortunately, there are a whole host of wonderful individuals and organizations that are guiding the way to resilience and positive forward movement to transition times.
I guess I have a new appreciation for speedbumps, and then healing resolve.
