“Hellooooo?? Anyone in this meetin' hall?? It's dark out there…hello??
“Is this on...?”
“...This is a poisonal message from the Wisconsin’s Model Academic Standards For Environmental Education. (We go by EnvStds for short cause our creators were a wordy bunch.)
“We come from that little brown booklet with the Greater Yellowlegs on the cover? (that’s a bird) Remember? ...I’m getting some glazed looks, here...!
“Anyway, we’re celebrating our 13th birthdays and adolescence this year, and for the most part it’s been a proud if lonely existence. (Except for
B.4.7Drawasimplehydrologiccycle. She insists that because of something called a FOSS, she gets a lot of requests.) Otherwise, we’re kinda disappointed with our work calendars.
“Ya know?... lots of great people who really valued our collective resumes put us into that booklet back in 1998. I think they were old hippies. Some were from Madison! (...that island of reality down by the Yahara Watershed?) We all had a good conference call that day and rubbed our hands waiting to get to work.
“Well, we hate to complain or nothin', but if education standards represent what is a prioritized list of student skills and proficiencies, then why aren’t we now more front and center, huh? (A.4.2Collect-informationmakepredictionsandofferexplanationsaboutquestionsasked wrote that last sentence…)"
“Frankie, (C.4.2Applyideasofpastpresentandfuturetospecificenvironmental-issues), informed us at last Sunday’s reskilling meeting that we are actually supposed to be what is called interdisciplinary. (He thought that meant we all got yelled at together in the detention room after school.) But really, it means we have to fit into all classrooms and not just one of our own. Ya know, we’ve always wondered why there’s no EnvStds sign on them doorjams! Am I right?"
CROWD: “What the..............?”
“Can you believe it!? Chemistry gets its own sign. So do English and Geography and Art. And we’re just supposed to show up quietly into every room and somehow make a presence?? That’s never played well here at this meeting hall! No wonder our calendars are sparse! And know what else? DPI will be adding a new group of Sustainability Standards to us pretty soon! Now, exactly where are THEY expected to go??"
“Lemme have that mic! Gimme the mic! …….That’s it!”
“What’s it, D.4.6Developaplaneitherindividuallyorinagrouptopreserve-thelocalenvironment.?”
“Report cards! I’ve never been on a report card! I thought it was my deoderant..., but we rarely ever get the chance to toot our own horns! Parents must think we’re just weenies who maybe hitch rides onto those Writing and Math snobs! Worse yet, parents may think we just don’t rate!"
CROWD: “Oouuch!!!”
“I yield the floor to the B EnvStds.”
“Peak Oil. Earth Systems. Climate Weirding. Population Overshoot. Clean Water Availability. Coal Pollution. Consumer vulgarities. Political/Social Aggressions. 2020 Foresight. Ethics!”
“Thank you, B’s, for that rousing rendition. We all share your enthusiasm and leadership! All those in favor of lobbying to get our sign on all classroom doors...?”
“Duh!!”
“Adjoined.”
